Here I am, laying next to you; holding you.

Some times words get in the way… but with a simple embrace you know exactly how I feel.

Your sensuous body fills my arms and presses deeply against me,

Comfortable and warm… such sublime feelings overwhelm.

Indistinct music plays quietly in the background as I whisper smoothly in your ear;

Everything is going to be alright.

The slick silence of night fills the room, dark bitter light casts shadow upon our bodies.

We bathe in euphoria; I, in your presence.

Your tired body concedes to the dark of night, I hold you closer as you fall asleep.

I drift off eventually, surely smiling… because?

You see… I get to see that beautiful smile of yours again, in just a few hours.

Goodnight my love…

Shorts.

One.

I can't stop staring into those eyes.

They entice me with brief glimpses into your soul…

A portal, so cliché, it is more true now that I have seen it for myself.

I am embraced by the comfort I find within,

My very own brown eyed girl.

Two.

It seems endless, the amount of passion and love that you possess.

An unending passion that has too long been suffocated, now breathes.

A love -left to long- to mediocrity, now indulges in reciprocity.

All that once was unappreciated now flourishes.

Let all that you are… bloom.

Learning. Futility. Sacrifice.

Let me ease your pain.
Even if it is only you telling me your story.
We all have problems that we deal with...
Some are just a little more difficult than others.
It is a pattern, but how do so many people fall prey to it?
I don't know.
Maybe we like the pain. The torture.
Saddists, we are.
How a loved one can walk all over us and yet we both do nothing?
...
One of us does it because of ignorance. The other is afraid.
We have all been afraid.
The ingnorance comes from taking such a beautiful thing for granted.
But I was blind then.
Being afraid of saying and getting what you want...
It's their happiness first... right?
All we want is someone to complete us. Someone to share our lives with.
Not to be alone.
We can become complacent though. Let the little things slide... it won't matter in the grand scheme.
They will.
To think that we can institute such a change in someone only comes from the fact that we "love" them.
But love is perspective.
To realize that change can only come from within. From wanting it themselves...
It can be a lesson in futility.
We try to hold on. Just incase. For that comfort... that security.
But there is always so much more.
Too many are stuck in places they do not want to be...
So many have... and will be.
Take comfort in yourself once in a while.
It is the path to self disovery.
And with patience and time on your side...
There is always something more.
But from all of this is where the perspective comes from, I hope we learn from it.
Or else we sacrifice too much.

Flock inspired.

Tick tock, I save time with Flock!
Click click, Wow! I sure am quick!
Facebook, it's easy just take a look,
On the side, see that slider slide!
Scroll on through, your friends updates are new!
Twitter too, OMG so much to do!
Floreta Cui, I'll tell her too, you'll see!
Blogger wow! I am writing to it now!
Picasa pictures? It makes it even swifter!
No way! So much to do, let's play!
Now Gmail, Logged in... no mail! :(
Oh Social networking, Flock does everything!
Now for an end... if only I have more friends!

;)

Silly really.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Brief.

The sprawl is mind numbingly loud today.
I can't seem to concentrate within these concrete confines.
No... coffins.
We are just slaves to society.
As we continue on, our daily lives become none existent in the pursuit of monetary gain.
Consumerism has turned so many to whores, to prisoners within.
Want becomes overbearing of need.
Prestige over necessity.
Look at all the work, in a system that inevitably makes the fat cats fatter.
No longer is sweat required to build foundations, just check your soul at the door.
It works though. That's what they tell us.
It's not as if the financial/monetary system is flawed. It's failing.
Should have just bought those magic beans, at least you would have something to eat Mr. Day Trader.
It's not enough to survive today. Greed consumes the meek.
So many have lost sight of more important things. But they aren't to blame...
Society has it's evils.

Haiku

An infectious smile
Widening my perspective
Always more to life

It's not being selfish...

It's not being selfish. Everyone wants theirs. It's not bad that I am being upfront and straightforward with the people I care for/love or want to love. Too long have I put myself last in line for enlightenment, for my little piece of heaven... for happiness.

I am done with toying with emotions. I am sure people aren't done doing it with me, but honestly. We are all adults now aren't we? And I don't think that I am better than anyone in anyway. It has taken me half my life -29 years- to get to this point and realize that honesty is the only way to go. Sure I should be concerned about others feelings, I am, but even after speaking my mind I, or we, have to move forward and work on it from there. You can't ignore the small things in life. They accumulate. They destroy. I have been in a few situations that I have thought I had everything going for me. But my lack of communication... let me rephrase, my inability to communicate truthfully -with myself or others- was/is my biggest failure.

What have I gained by telling people what I think they want to hear up to this point in my life. Nothing. Well nothing in the sense of positive personal gain. What have I gained in telling myself what I wanted to hear... self pity now that I think about it. I pity my past self, for leading myself on. And also I despise my past self for leading others on. Add that to the list of shitty things I have done in my life...

But we all have those lists. No one is perfect. I am realizing this more and more. That list defines us. It is who we are. And if you can't learn and grow from it... you're in a worse place than I.

TL;DR Honesty is king, happiness is key. Ima get mine.

I quote. My quote. That is all.

two lost souls traveling towards our respective horizons

Warmth.

Sunlight on skin, illuminates ecstasy.
Beautiful, rich, and luscious tones of sublime tenderness.
Silky under finger tip, pressing against hands,
Warm. Soft. Sensual.
Subtly enticing, bluntly intoxicating,
Curves tease effortlessly with feminine guise,
Such ample sustenance feeds desire, unending.
Hot under finger tip, smooth against hands,
Touch temporarily satisfies the senses,
Only to amplify insatiability.

You are your own worst critic.

As I struggle with my self image I have to constantly remind myself that my view of myself is skewed. Dealing with being overweight through high school has given me deep rooted self esteem problems. Evidence there of, found in my latest motto in life... "There is always room for improvement." Even at what I thought was my best I still wasn't good enough.

So I am constantly trying to be content with in myself. I know I will never be perfect. What is perfection? I am too worried about what other people might want. I must only concern myself with a body image that makes me happy. With that said I still have high standards set for myself. And I know all I need is time to achieve those goals. And to maintain them.

On a dating site, one of the headlines I saw was "Relationships make you fat and lazy." I told myself I wasn't going to let that happen. But it did. I have no one to blame but myself and I accept that responsibility. So here I am again. Trying to take a few steps forward. Slowly. Surely. I did it before I can do it again.

Like everyone, I have good and bad days. I am recognizing the good days more and focusing on them instead of what I think are "bad" days. Slowly rebuilding my self esteem and my confidence.

So one day at a time. It's coming. I'll find that part of my inner peace.

Because, damn, I look good.

;)

Touch

More to it than just reaching a hand out.
We all want to be wanted. To be cared for.
Touch is the physical affirmation that our bodies cherish.
Sometimes you don't want to let go. Sometimes you want to break down.
The best we can hope for is that it happens with someone who cares,
Someone who will not let go... to soon.
It's so simple. It's so soulful. An embrace.
The warmth so comforting.
Two bodies together, only for a moment,
Yet long enough to know everything will be better, everything will be alright.
Long enough to feel loved.
Appreciated.
Special.


Moments like these remind us what to look forward too.

Wtb: Prose

Warmth I crave.
You, here beside me. Whispering... "Go to sleep."
Slowly rolling in our tussled sheets, so carelessly put together from this morning.
Smooth scented skin tries my resolve again. Scent so alluring.
I slowly taste your naked, vulnerable shoulder, as it peeks out from under the covers. The black air of night chills your exposed skin and is cool on my lips. A familiar taste fills my senses.
Unresponsive you lay asleep, warm and comfortable in my arms... safe.
Gently I hold you awaiting a response. Your body hot under covers. So soft. So sexy.
I caress your tummy... thinking of the kisses I showered it with hours before. Thinking of how much I enjoy that slightly salty taste you get sometimes. Especially after... you know...
And now... a response. With fluid like motion you roll to your side. My hands adjust. My right finds itself resting on your hip.
Such an innocent motion.
Supple curves press against me.
Why is everything you do so sexy?
At first all I wanted was the warmth I craved...
Now you're here beside me, whispering... "Go to sleep."