Thursday, February 26, 2009


An infectious smile
Widening my perspective
Always more to life

It's not being selfish...

It's not being selfish. Everyone wants theirs. It's not bad that I am being upfront and straightforward with the people I care for/love or want to love. Too long have I put myself last in line for enlightenment, for my little piece of heaven... for happiness.

I am done with toying with emotions. I am sure people aren't done doing it with me, but honestly. We are all adults now aren't we? And I don't think that I am better than anyone in anyway. It has taken me half my life -29 years- to get to this point and realize that honesty is the only way to go. Sure I should be concerned about others feelings, I am, but even after speaking my mind I, or we, have to move forward and work on it from there. You can't ignore the small things in life. They accumulate. They destroy. I have been in a few situations that I have thought I had everything going for me. But my lack of communication... let me rephrase, my inability to communicate truthfully -with myself or others- was/is my biggest failure.

What have I gained by telling people what I think they want to hear up to this point in my life. Nothing. Well nothing in the sense of positive personal gain. What have I gained in telling myself what I wanted to hear... self pity now that I think about it. I pity my past self, for leading myself on. And also I despise my past self for leading others on. Add that to the list of shitty things I have done in my life...

But we all have those lists. No one is perfect. I am realizing this more and more. That list defines us. It is who we are. And if you can't learn and grow from it... you're in a worse place than I.

TL;DR Honesty is king, happiness is key. Ima get mine.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I quote. My quote. That is all.

two lost souls traveling towards our respective horizons

Friday, February 20, 2009


Sunlight on skin, illuminates ecstasy.
Beautiful, rich, and luscious tones of sublime tenderness.
Silky under finger tip, pressing against hands,
Warm. Soft. Sensual.
Subtly enticing, bluntly intoxicating,
Curves tease effortlessly with feminine guise,
Such ample sustenance feeds desire, unending.
Hot under finger tip, smooth against hands,
Touch temporarily satisfies the senses,
Only to amplify insatiability.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

You are your own worst critic.

As I struggle with my self image I have to constantly remind myself that my view of myself is skewed. Dealing with being overweight through high school has given me deep rooted self esteem problems. Evidence there of, found in my latest motto in life... "There is always room for improvement." Even at what I thought was my best I still wasn't good enough.

So I am constantly trying to be content with in myself. I know I will never be perfect. What is perfection? I am too worried about what other people might want. I must only concern myself with a body image that makes me happy. With that said I still have high standards set for myself. And I know all I need is time to achieve those goals. And to maintain them.

On a dating site, one of the headlines I saw was "Relationships make you fat and lazy." I told myself I wasn't going to let that happen. But it did. I have no one to blame but myself and I accept that responsibility. So here I am again. Trying to take a few steps forward. Slowly. Surely. I did it before I can do it again.

Like everyone, I have good and bad days. I am recognizing the good days more and focusing on them instead of what I think are "bad" days. Slowly rebuilding my self esteem and my confidence.

So one day at a time. It's coming. I'll find that part of my inner peace.

Because, damn, I look good.



More to it than just reaching a hand out.
We all want to be wanted. To be cared for.
Touch is the physical affirmation that our bodies cherish.
Sometimes you don't want to let go. Sometimes you want to break down.
The best we can hope for is that it happens with someone who cares,
Someone who will not let go... to soon.
It's so simple. It's so soulful. An embrace.
The warmth so comforting.
Two bodies together, only for a moment,
Yet long enough to know everything will be better, everything will be alright.
Long enough to feel loved.

Moments like these remind us what to look forward too.

About Me

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Just a regular guy living a (somewhat) regular life with some exceptional content along the way. Just like you I am finding my way and trying to share some knowledge/insight as I come by it.